So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
