really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
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I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
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I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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