yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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