My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course