I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.