thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
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All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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