Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
