Already got asked if we're dating
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
