dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
