Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
