your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
