I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
