I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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