last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.