You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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