Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
