3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Can Purell be used as lube?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
