I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
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Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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