Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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