so that wasnt chicken after all
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
