Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize