I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize