The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
