She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
