I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
