but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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