It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize