splinters make it hard to masturbate
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
