Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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