It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
