He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
