I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize