Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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