Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
