This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Randomize