i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
