my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016