lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT