ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My vagina is very pro this idea
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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