I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
