i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
