you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
