someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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