I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
