I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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