don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
