i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
