You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
