he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We just shotgunned beers for America
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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