Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
