Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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