Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
