how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
