Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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