He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize