I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
