This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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