i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
