bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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