I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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